It is needless to say that as a twenty-something Christian woman, especially in Detroit, being single is a fairly common occurrence. I'm not saying it's great, or even tolerable at times, but it is fairly common. In my teenage years, it was common because I was shy and terrible at showing interest. In my adult years, it was because I was an extremely driven person who was still shy and wanted to be pursued. Plus, I was a bit of a relationship idiot. Ok, a lot of a relationship idiot. 'Nuf said.
One day, a few years ago, my mom informed me that she would, at my marriage, give me and my future husband a significant sum of money as a gift. If I would like, she plainly declared, she could give me that money now instead of at my wedding. Translation: "You'll never get married, so invest in a condo or something." Thanks, mom.
My dad, at the same time, was making comments (half seriously) about me becoming a nun. A) I am not Catholic, so this would definitely not make sense; and B) I do not want to be a nun. Period. After I would inform him of these two facts, he would respond with a story of a priest friend who decided to leave the priesthood and marry a nun. This, he proposed, would definitely happen to me, should I decide to join a convent. No thanks, dad. I don't want a priest, either.
Needless to say, all of this parental discouragement got me incredibly self-conscious about my singleness. Was I doing everything wrong? They had pushed me into the online dating path, the visiting other churches path, the family friend path (let's just say...umm...no.) and nothing was successful.
Still, I'm certainly no expert today on relationships. Let me make that perfectly clear. But if I've learned anything, it's that there are no right answers, no formula, no magic pill to take and wake up to find your "Christian Prince Charming." There were the piles of books on my shelf, the blogs and magazines I'd read, and still I felt like God just wasn't listening to me. Being in the church even made me feel less valuable at times.
So, I decided to just enjoy the journey. Live, love, and don't settle. Single Christian women of the world, SHOUT OUT LOUD. Repeat this with me: I am not less. I am valuable, and I am more. ***Hint: more shouting makes for more fun. Disclaimer: author is not responsible for any "shhhh-ing" while reading this post. :)
Lesson: Don't become a nun. Don't count on marrying a Catholic priest. They're probably gay anyway.
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